“I just wish people would tell me what’s going on.”
Every leader says it eventually. Maybe you’ve said it this month.
However, and here’s the uncomfortable part, maybe they are. Maybe the silence is the message.
Before speaking up, people weigh what it might cost them. If there is silence, they conclude it isn’t worth it. They’ve thought about past disagreements, what happens to others who speak up, and how past concerns have been addressed.
That is on top of your title, which already creates a barrier. Positional power suppresses disagreement, whether you intend it or not.
The irony is that low-conflict teams may seem well led. The meetings are efficient, there’s no friction, and everyone agrees with decisions. That feeling is exactly what makes it dangerous, though, because compliance and alignment look identical from the outside.
In the video, I share the story of a team that unanimously approved a security design despite their doubts, and how we turned compliance into alignment. I also give you two things you can do this week to start building a different culture.
So the next time everyone in the room agrees with you, resist the urge to be relieved. Be curious and ask yourself what else the silence could be saying.
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